16 Signs You Officially DGAF Anymore

  • 1. You recently broke up with a guy via Facebook status.

  • 3. You pre-party for the weekend

  • 4. You gave your friend a thong as a gift. At her baby shower.

  • 6. Last time you were at dinner with friends, you ordered pizza. As an appetizer.

  • 7. Just thinking about the gym makes you so tired you need a nap.

  • 9. You’ve uttered the sentence, “This is your fault for having an open bar.”

  • 10. When hooking up with a new dude, you run into his bathroom and borrow his razor for an “emergency shave.”

  • 11. You’ve googled the phrase, “Can you still eat hummus if it’s moldy.”

  • 12. You’ve thrown away a plate because you didn’t feel like washing it.

  • 13. You’re rocking ombre hair … because that’s how long it’s been since you had your roots did.

  • 14. You “retired” from high heels because “who’s kidding who?”

  • 15. You call your BFF’s boyfriend “That Idiot.” To his face.

  • 16. When anyone compliments something you’re wearing, you tell them which bargain rack you snatched it off of.

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    At this point you should pretend to pretend to care.

    What should you wear today?

    Did you make an ass of yourself at the party on Friday?

    How many calories are in a Caesar salad?

    …life is full of stressful questions. Fortunately, you don’t spend every second agonizing over them, because you don’t have so much as a miniscule f**k left to give. (You lost your very last one when it — along with the rest of your body — fell off some mechanical bull years ago.)

    >>> 12 Signs You've Been Single Too Long

    Here are 16 telltale signs that you couldn’t even care less, even if you tried.

    Monday, 08. June 2015