Demi Lovato: I felt suicidal as a child

Demi Lovato has hinted that there is a lot which happened in her past that she has never been open about.

Demi Lovato felt suicidal when she was seven.

The actress-and-singer checked into rehab in 2010 to deal with “physical and emotional issues”. She has been open about her struggle with bulimia and self-harm and was also relentlessly bullied when she was growing up.

Demi began her career on the children’s TV show Barney & Friends when she was seven, but even then things were getting too much for her.

“At the time, I was just so grateful to be on TV, but I was also really struggling. Looking back, there was a connection, probably between any kid who’s ever sang that song to Barney, a little place in a child’s heart, a void, that could be filled. And maybe Barney fills it. Even before Barney, I was suicidal. I was seven,” she told the latest edition of US Cosmopolitan magazine. “With Barney, I guess subliminally, I did have a relationship with this figure that was saving my life in a way.”

Although Demi has spoken extensively about how much bullying affected her childhood, there are things she is less forthcoming about.

She has hinted that major things happened to her when she was just a child. At the moment she doesn’t feel ready to discuss them openly and instead directed people to her song Warrior.

The track includes the lyrics: “There’s a part of me I can’t get back/ A little girl grew up too fast/ All it took was once, I’ll never be the same/ Now I’m taking back my life today.”

“My family knows what it’s about. When I’m ready to open up that subject with the outside world, then I’ll be free to talk about it. But right now, it’s kind of one of those things where the lyrics speak for me. It’s all in the song,” she said.

“I’ve talked about being bullied and the years of being a teenager, but I went through things when I was younger that I’ve never talked about that probably caused me to turn out the way I ended up turning out.”

The 20-year-old star was raised a Christian and is happy for people to know she believes in God. When she is in Los Angeles she doesn’t discuss it as she finds people too judgmental, but her religious background has helped her through life.

“God gave me a voice, not just to sing with. He put me through those things, which seemed horrible at the time, but they were so worth it. With the obstacles I’ve overcome, I can help people,” she explained.

Demi also spoke about her career aspirations. She worries too many young people look up to those in the hip-hop or rock industries for the wrong reasons. While she knows their lifestyles can look glamorous, the star believes many are actually hiding their anguish.

She believes being open and honest is what should really be praised.

“When I look at someone who’s out there partying excessively or rappers rapping about doing drugs, who people look up to, and think, Oh that’s a G; that’s a gangster. I think, You’re actually being a giant p***y,” she said.

“There have been nights where I’ve had to sit on my hands, because I want to act out, because I physically can’t sit still in the pain I’m dealing with, from looking back and being bullied or other things that happened. And now, as hard as it may be, I will do that. That’s what makes me a badass. Being a badass is handling your sh*t.”
Copyright: Cover Media 2013

Monday, 01. July 2013